Low Sex Drive

Sexuality in low sex drive marriages and non-sexual marriages assumes an inordinate, negative role, robbing them of 50 to 75 percent of marital satisfaction. When sexuality goes well, it is a positive but not major component, adding 15 to 20 percent of marital satisfaction. Healthy marital sexuality serves the positive functions of creating shared pleasure, reinforcing the relationship attachment, and reducing tension related to the stresses of life and marriage. Because low sex drive marriages and non sexual marriages lack the "inoculating effect" of healthy marital sexuality, they are more likely to end in divorce than marriages in which sex drive is healthy.

In discrepancies of sex drive, it is the discrepancy in sexual appetite between partners rather than low, sex drive per se that is the problem. For example, one partner may have a low normal sex drive, while the other has a high normal drive. This discrepancy leads to interpersonal tensions that are similar to the tensions experienced by low sex drive marriages and non sexual marriages.

Approach to Treating Low Sex Drive

My approach to treating low sex drive and discrepancies of sex drive is comprehensive, drawing upon techniques that are appropriate to the couple’s needs from a variety of approaches such as Cognitive-Behavioral sex therapy, Helen Singer Kaplan’s model of sexual desire (Dysfunctional Regulation of Sexual Motivation) and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). This approach stresses a one-two combination, in which each individual assumes responsibility for his or her own sexuality, and both partners work as an intimate team to address the couple issue of low sex drive.

If you would like more information regarding Low Sex Drive, please feel free to contact me at 604-873-0222 or at info@pauljames.ca.